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  1. Raging thunder (Marriage)

    Sunday, January 20, 2013

    I've decided to post about things that bothers me under this title; Raging thunder. It's just my opinion about certain things.

    Dedicated to Ahthu. 

    Disclaimer : This post is just my opinion about this matter. Any resemblance to real person, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

    So it has been a month since I turned 18. You know, I got legal. It's cool that I turned 18 and now there are the things that I could do just because I turned 18. For instance, I can vote, I can get a driver's licence (I have a driver's licence now. Oh yeah 8D), get married (legally. You can get married even if you are 16 now? I guess. I donno much about this matter.), commit a crime and go to jail and etc..

    I haven't really given much thought about to this whole 'getting old' thing. Mostly because I'm just 18 and I believe that's pretty young. This post was inspired by my friend, Ahthu. Hence I dedicate this post to her. She told me that she wanted to give me some bad news and that she's freaking old (She is just 19. sigh. So young.) I, being the 'smart mouth' myself replied 'You getting old isn't bad news for me.' Then she was like you will too. This year and the next year and the next year...and after a few years your worst nightmare will come true. I answered 'Menopause?' It was the logical answer. I honestly thought she was talking about menopause. But then she said the biggest-sad-truth which is spreading like a flu in our society.
    "People will start to ask you Hey. When are you getting married?" Just because you are a woman.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't get married , you know. You should get married but you don't necessarily need to rush into it. It's like 'I know I don't have any experience and I don't know the first thing about flying a jumbo jet yet I think I should fly a jumbo jet. Hell, I am going to go and fly that jumbo jet.' I don't think you  need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure out what will happen next with the person who wanted to fly a jumbo jet.

    People make a huge fuss about this. "You are a woman. You should get married to the first person you meet." I honestly don't think it should be this way. Maybe this is the reason behind the elevated number of divorce. There are a few young married couples that I know who are living really happily. They are doing great. I feel so happy when I see them, you know, living happily together.It's like they radiate this happiness energy. lol. Like Jennifer Lawrence saying seeing Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt together was the most beautiful thing ever. It's actually ineffable.  However, there are those people who are so sick of it and just want out of it. Some of them are parents now. How sad is that?

    There's nothing wrong about a woman not getting married till she's like 30 or 35 or till she's ready. If you are ready and certain that you won't change your mind when you are like 18 or 16 or 19 there's nothing wrong with that either. She would have lived her life by then and will know what the world has to offer. I'm sure that she won't head off to someplace leaving her husband and children behind saying "Honey. I love you. But I want to explore the world and see what I can do without you by my side." A woman who lived her life a little and had some 'world' experience would say " Honey. I love you. I have explored the world and seen so many things. And I'm damn sure that I dont want to take off and leave you behind. I want to live the rest of my life exploring the world with you and our 11 kids by my side." This might not be her exact words but you get the idea.

    Mothers want the best for their daughters. True that. But constantly nagging her to get married? Settle down?  Of course they want grandchildren and want to see us settled down with a man by our side, (protecting us apparently) It should be that way. But settling down just after your A'level with your boyfriend of just 4 months? Nah-aah!
    Ahthu's biggest complain was that her mother keeps telling her "You had boyfriends when I advised you not to have one. But now, when you are at the age of marriage you shouldn't be single." The forbidden fruit always taste better. I'm sure that was it back then.
     My mother, wow! She just keeps going on and on about how I don't have a boyfriend and how others have one. How I don't actually know how to get a boyfriend. Wait...whaat? lol. I sometimes reply "Mom. If it matters to you so much why don't you find me one?" I wish no one would ever talk to her about relationships. Whenever someone even mentions the name boyfriend or marriage or anything related to it she goes like "I keep telling my Sausan to find a man. But she won't get one. Help me find her one." I know she's actually joking, but all the time? One of my relatives came to stay with us this break and my mother kept bringing me and not having a boyfriend and not planning to get married almost everyday. She wants me to marry someone I want to marry. She wouldn't actually force me into anything that I don't want to do. One of the many reasons I love my mom.

    I had this teacher back in 10th grade. She got married right after she finished her O'level, I guess? She was very young. When I asked to write something for me on my autograph book she wrote this down. (Yes I asked my teachers to write something for me. I was actually pretty close with all of my teachers. They are really great and very cool. I find it interesting when I find out stuff and when they tell me stories about their life. You can actually learn a lot from them besides what's in the textbook.)
    "Don't get married too soon. Plan everything, utilize your time with your studies. You will get plenty of time for doing all other things."
    Writing about this kind of stuff made me think about arranged marriage. I feel like it's not a bad thing. It would be a mystery, you know. Trying to figure out your husband after getting married? It's like an adventure. He won't speak to you that often so that's an advantage. lol. Maybe it's because I've read too many teen fiction stories about arranged marriage when I was like let's just say immature and young. But if you actually think about it I think it's a pretty wonderful idea.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't get married. Please don't get the wrong idea about this. I'm just saying parents shouldn't force their daughters into marriage-just because they are women and just because others are getting married. Like Ted you should wait for your 'the one'. (Although I don't really believe in 'the one'. Maybe it's because I'm incapable of love or something. or maybe it's because I've had horrible experiences in this field. lol. I actually have this theory. I think I'm cursed. Have you seen Good luck Chuck? Kind of like that. minus the you know, that part. :P)
    Just give it some time. Not having a boyfriend or not having a plan when you are 18 or 19 is okay. Really. It's.okay. Mom. I will keep telling you this whenever you mention about me not getting married or not getting a boyfriend. :P

    Yeah.kthanksbye. lol

    PS: I kind of need some recipes or something to cook for my project bite. Now I have so many options and I don't know which one to choose. So if you could suggest something that would be great. You can suggest any recipe/dish via the shout box. I already have a request to make cinnamon rolls from my cousin.

  2. 7 comments:

    1. Anonymous said...

      Couldn't have said better.

    2. Sau said...

      Glad to know that you feel the same way. Anonymous.

    3. Schyna Saeed said...

      I can totally relate ;)

    4. Sau said...

      I know. This is like a flu or something :P

    5. Ahthu Naciem said...

      Awesomely penned! well done!

    6. saiy Yer said...

      lol, i thought its jxt me the victim of this issue. glad to knw there are others.. :P

    7. Sau said...

      Haha. Glad to know that you read this post.
      Brown beaver hat-Making you feel better since 2010. :P

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