Brown beaver hat

It was just a regular week day. I got up as usual, had an intense argument with my bed. You know the one. "To get up or not to get up?" After struggling for a while I got up and took a shower. I took a bit longer than usual to wear my contacts today. Sometimes it's my left eye or the right eye. I'm just certain one of the eye would just be too proud to let my contact bind with the cornea everyday and I get late, because of my contacts.

I did hear my mother's cell phone ringing while I was in the shower but didn't pay much attention for 3 reasons. 1. I was actually late. 2. Whoever calling my mom can wait. It was like 6 in the morning. 3. I was in the shower and probably half asleep. I don't know why but a thought did cross my mind, regarding the phone call. My grandmother has been very very sick for the past couple of weeks and she was admitted in the hospital. All of her children stayed at the hospital last night. Even my mom came home around 5:30 or something. She wouldn't have come if I didn't have school. I have trouble trying to fall asleep but when I do, it is pretty hard to wake me up. Alarm clocks, thunder, heavy heavy rainfall and etc.. have no effect on me.


While I was getting ready, I heard our land line ringing. My sister's husband installed a land line in our place because sometimes when he or others call none of us answer our phones (because they are no where near us). When the land line rings, it's so loud that even if you don't want to get up and answer it you just have to do it because the sound is just shwgxcbw! I heard my mom answer the phone. She then came into the room and said 'Grandma died.' I was like 'wait what?' She repeated, 'Grandma died.' 'Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi ra'jioon' I said that to myself.
My mom then wore this poker face/sad face? I couldn't decide. She took out her phone book and started dialing numbers. To everyone she said 'My mother died.' It was so sad to see her so vulnerable and calling everyone and breaking it to them. I told her I won't go to school today and I went to the hospital with her. My sister and her husband also went. I know it was gonna happen someday to her and to everyone. But, you understand, don't you? My family has never dealt with death, until today.

When I was a kid, (let's say like 7 or 10 years old) I used to watch cartoon every evening. Usually it's Mickey Mouse or something. I don't remember the cartoon that well. But what I do remember is that sometimes as a kid I picture my life without my mother or my father, mostly mother and then it's gets me so upset and sad. I just run to my mother immediately and cry. She'll be just standing there, puzzled mostly. It's just, you know...

But my grandmother, she lived a long, blessed life. She lived for 82 years. Yes, that's right. She was 82 years old and was smiling today. When I first saw her in IGMH today. I whispered to my mom, 'Mom. She is smiling. Her face is so bright. She doesn't have a single wrinkle on her face.' Maybe I was talking about this because I didn't want to cry. Watery eyes, yes.

Honestly, she was a good person. Never missed a prayer. Always praying. She gave me a large family. You may not believe this but I think there are like 96 members or so in my family. the extended one, I mean. This is excluding my father's side. While I was in Aasaharaa I did think of making a family tree. Just to see how many members there are. She has lots of grand kids and great grand kids.
Now, when I go back to my homeland, Fuvahmulah and go to my grandmother's her large room is gonna be empty. I like to just lie on her bed with her whenever I go there. Because there's an enormous bed and its comfortable. There are a lot of windows in her room. And when you open them, the lovely breeze just come in and just take you away. She even entertained me. Told me different varieties of stories.

I have been there with her the whole day. I even overcame my fear of corpses. I touched her and everything. The most painful moment was when it was when she was put into the coffin. Everyone rushed to her to see her for the last time ever. Her youngest daughter and eldest daughter just burst into tears. Her grand daughters and oh god. I can't even describe it. They did cry even earlier but my mom kept comforting them and telling them not to cry. Because that makes it too painful for her? But you have no control over the emotions. She has been with us since the beginning. The longer you live, the sadder people will be when you are gone because they have too many memories of you. too many traditions and you are used to it.
Right now, my mother is out, distributing 'sadhaqaah' here in Male' and my grandmother's other daughters are distributing in Fuvahmulah. I heard that a ton of people participated in the Kashu namaadhu. So, insha allah everything went great. At least my grand mother's last wish was granted.
Just don't go to bed when you are mad at someone. You might never see that person again. I try not to do this after the whole Dr.Afraasheem's incident. and don't wait to talk to someone or to visit someone. Just, don't. Oh and this didn't happen with me and my maama. I was just stating the obvious and trying to pen off with an advice for a change.

May almighty Allah forgive her sins and grant her Jannathul Firudhaus. Aameen.